The ROFHMA Society Glossary

This is a group of women who have seen some shit and done some shit and have worked their shit out (for the most part). Our pledge is "I promise to each and every sister that I will base our friendship on love, joy, and shenanigans. Alcohol may or may not be involved." Coffee and/or Tea are also perfectly acceptable among the Royal Order. As a helpful resource, this offers a primer of several common terms. I've been promising the sisterhood a compilation as a glossary.  Without further ado, ahem, let us begin.

The Royal Order of Feral Housewives Mutual Admiration Society

Glossary of Essential Terms, 1st edition

Feral: /ˈferəl,ˈfirəl/ Adjective (especially of an animal, of which, women most definitely are) in a wild state, especially after escape from captivity or domestication.

"A feral cat, or woman. You decide." adjective

Feral Housewife: /ˈferəl, housˌwīf/ noun A woman whose main occupation is (probably still) caring for her family, managing household affairs, but who has figured shit the fuck out and is nobody’s doormat, and loves herself and knows her worth. And if someone else doesn’t know or appreciate it they can fuck all the way off. Not just a little bit but all the fucking way. Off.

"The term domestic housewife makes me think that there are feral housewives and now I have a completely new goal.” noun

Feralicious: / ˈferəlˈaˈliSHəs/ adjective.  Something or someone who is highly pleasant to the taste. Also, the state of knowing one’s own worth, of loving and accepting oneself as is, and as a result, is delightfully attractive and comfortable in her own skin. These women have phenomenal internal radar guidance systems so, do not fuck with them. (See also, definition for fuck).

"Girlfriend, that is a feralicious dress and you are going to knock that first date outta the park." adjective

Fuck: /fuck/ Noun, verb, adverb, adjective. Can be used in multiple ways with myriad of subtle or specific extenders all centered around the basic premise of a ragged and course sex act. Done without love but not necessarily without passion. In fact, passion and heated intercourse may be the actual meaning.

"Fuck you." verb

"What in the actual fuck?" noun

“This is fucking ridiculous.” adverb*

“This is fucking beautiful.” adjective*

*In these two examples, the adverb and adjective are interchangeable.

Fuckalicious: /fuckˈaˈliSHəs/ adjective.  Some thing or someone that is delightfully pleasant to the taste. This thing or person may or may not be actually good or appropriate for you, but what the fuck (see also, definition for fuck). Remember, the #1 truism is that not supposed to is the greatest aphrodisiac in the world.” NOTE: see Truisms in the Commandments section.

She knew he was fuckalicious and in the moment, that was an extremely good thing. adjective

Fucktastic: /fuckˈtastik/Adjective.  Extraordinarily good or attractive OR extraordinarily horrible and distasteful. Depends completely upon tone and context. Excellent glossary word.

Oh, that’s fucktastic. adjective

Fuckinator: /fuckˈinādər/Noun.  A person or thing that fucks something up beyond all recognition.

The fuckinator showed up at the wedding and proceeded to burn that bitch to the ground.  noun

Fucktastrophy: /fuckˈtastrəfē/Noun. A person or event that causes cataclysmic and sudden damage or suffering; a complete and utter disaster.

And after that the wedding reception was a total fucktastrophy. noun

It is essential the reader please note that later editions will most certainly follow. As life gives us many opportunities to expand our feral vocabulary.


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